Chapter 4

Fuck. I slid out the bed once I realized how late it was. I needed to get home, now. I stood, stretched out my arms and began to put back on my clothes. I'm looking for my shoe when I hear
"Mmm where are you going? It's 3 o'clock."
"Home."
"Why don't you stay over? Come back to bed," Mary calls.
"Can't. I have to be at work early,"
She yawns, "Ok, then have a good day. Wait, am I going to see you later?"
"Maybe if I don't stay late in the office," I say getting slightly irritated.
"Don't do that," she says straightening up,"don't come lay with me at night and not want me in the morning. I'm not doing that Jacques."
This is too much talking for 3:00 in the morning. But I know I have to keep her satisfied for as long as I need her to do what I want to be done. "I'm not doing anything. I'll call you when I get off work ok?" I kiss her and hurry out the door before anymore comes out her mouth.
It's only a matter of days, then everything will go back to how it should be. I have been tired of playing this charade for months on end just waiting for Ruth to snap. But I knew this would happen once I brought Mary into the equation more complicated but I still got the better deal. Mary knows Ruth better than I do and when the time is right, she's gonna hit her so far back Ruth won't have any choice but to cave in my every word. Me fucking Mary was a minor set back to the whole plan, but who am I to turn down a woman who wants nothing more than some attention. Women are all the same-all talk about respect and trust and all that shit but the moment you give 'em a good fuck, they come beggin.

Arriving home, I head straight to my bed fully aware that I don't have to be at work until 8. After kicking Ruth out, I've gotten used to sleeping alone, and that's the way I plan to keep it. Sleeping with Mary wasn't that bad but it's just not for me. I've already complicated things enough when its come to her. No need to make it any worse. I set my alarm and finally fall into a deep sleep. I'm dreaming...

Suddenly I smell fries, but not just any fries, I smell those disgusting seasoned fries from Deena's Diner. I sit down. The waitress comes up to me and asks, "Whaddya want today Jackie?" I look down at the menu and see the scars on my knuckles. I realize I've had this dream before.. only its not a dream, it's happened before. "Just get me a coffee. Black." She walks away and look around the place. I see all the lonely deserted souls you normally find around Watershed, I notice a couple of teenaged boys shoving each other to see whose going to talk to that stripper I see Wednesday nights whose picking over a salad, and then I see her out the window. But instead of taking in the black coffee, I run out into the sun up to her. "Ruth! Ruth!," I call after her looking to see where she might have gone. "Ruth!," I continue until finally spot her. She's about to meet him but I stop her. "Ruth, how did we get here? How did we get here?," I cry while I hold her in my arms like I once in what seems like a lifetime ago. She begins to look at me like she once did back in those days, "You can change it. You know what to do." I hear the buzzers blaring. "I have to go," she says. "No! NO!" I try to grab her but she gets lost in the crowd on the streets. "I can't change it now Ruth! It's done! It's-"

I wake up to the alarm buzzing in my ear. Month after month after month, I have this dream-only its not a dream, it's just a re-play of that day. But instead of just watching her look for me, I stop her. I stop her before she gets to him. Before she left me. Fuckin bitch. She's just a fuckin bitch. A fuckin bitch that's going to pay.